Thu 2025-04-10 19:40 PST

ugh i reread the previous entry it's so cringy why do i act like that whatever....
last quarter i faieled intro data sci (set it to pass/fail so it didnt affect my gpa), that class sucked bc we had to use rlang which just is complete ass esp bc of the lock-in to the entirety of rstudio but i guess its a widely used data analysis and visualization language despite its flaws and proprietary nature....
and i dropped linear anal bc i hated it even tho:
i try to like math and i think its an amazing basis which science lies upon...
but for me the number crunching with no incentive is the bane of me, i just CANT do math problems on paper i jsut get so bored idkkk its so like u have to focus as hell and do the entire extremely long and boring problem right or you fuck it up
the other two i got shitty grades in so thats great i lvoe myself

something i realize is like data science is very proprietary generally bc companies require standardized tools that they arent gonna make themselves
but idk i hate the entire thing like idek why im doing this im taking syntax this quarter and linuguistics seems more funthan using shitty easy to learn proprietary software tools to do some garbage data visualization idk im too biased probably but also wish
everything wasnt so anti foss like itd benefit everyone if for example
there was just an optimized set of algorithms built in a bunch of languages , ppl could just edit it how they see fit if needed, ig its hard to coordinate tho or something
but like in coding its just reinventing the wheel like 100000 times instead of building up slowly and methodically, just bc companies want it that way maube
i guess theres a balance between how long it takes and how optimized it is and at a certain point optimizing further isnt worth it... tho this isnt really the case for widely used algorithms?

...
idk what im talking about i never do,. i wana like structure my thoughts into a manifesto, but im so disorganized that itd be hard..... mayb when im older and think more

Sun 2025-02-09 00:25 PST

hello there... upon seeing the host of rawtime (tiffy's) online journal circa ~2001 i felt making a little internet journal for myself would be worthy...
granted, most other journals i write end up becoming depressing due to my meloncholic nature... and i'm not sure when i'll even write to this... my life consists of many ideas without much action and the tides change very often. so i'm not sure if this will become deleted as well...
the fact that it's public is already a bit concerning as i'm unable to write to the true depths of my experience, person beliefs, secrets...
but how about i just treat it as a social media platform, okay?

I want to apologize for not writing more formally as it decreases readability of the text. From now on I will write in "proper" English, at least from the frame of refrence akin to a college English professor. This *is* my own journal, however, so I suppose it is up to my own decision how I choose to write.

Anyway, enough of the meta(physical?) questioning.
Today, I submitted a take home midterm for a class on bioinformatics. I decided to wait to the last day (up until the afternoon) to start, which was 10/10 idea yet again lol. sorry for fucladsfjn dang it my stupid dumb brainrot is coming back that sucks lemms lemons
sorry, anyway so i'm completely behind on numerious classes:
currently taking:

• bioinformatics
• GIS
• intro to data sci
• linear analysis

honestly i'm uninterested in all of em but oh well idrk i'm very behind.... im too tired to go into depth why im upset about this but theres some stupid stuff and yeah mabe ill expain l8r

main goal for this year. release a game. doesn't matter the quality, just get it in the public
this is a complete mess jjust like my brain so i complteely apologize to anyone reading this (if i even dont delete it idk wel'l see tho i do wanna talk about life philosophies and otherwise l8r)

humanity will evolve into an amalgamation between it and its very creations, evolving faster than the nature which created it, or destroy itself in the process of doing so.